Parenting Skill

By George Stillwell

Critical thinking is one of the most important skills you can teach your children. The ability to apply our moral and ethical principles to a given situation is critically important. Making difficult decisions in complex situations is not always intuitive and needs to be taught. If you spend time training your children to do this while they are young, it will serve them well as they grow up and eventually move out of the home to make a life for themselves.

Specifically, it is important that kids develop the ability to:

1. Properly assess a situation.

2. Evaluate options with pros and cons.

3. Determine a proper course of action by applying their principles and value system.

4. Put their decision into action.

Some things you can do to help your children develop their decision-making skills include:

1. Talk to your children about the decisions you face. Talking openly with your kids about how you make big decisions is great teaching. Examples would include whether to make a career change, a big purchase, a move for the family, etc. Be sure to explain how you are assessing the situation, gathering necessary information, evaluating the options, applying your beliefs and values, then making a decision.

2. Don’t have all the answers. When your kids have a question about what they should do, coach them through the process, but don’t make the decision for them. This can be very difficult for some kids. Resist the urge to tell them what you recommend. Reassure them that you will not let them make a decision that will seriously hurt them or the family, but give them to latitude to experience the consequences of their decision-making.

3. Discuss Hypotheticals. Take time to discuss ‘what ifs’. Occasionally introduce hypothetical situations that present moral or ethical dilemmas and have your children discuss and debate what the right decision and course of action would be. Ask questions to insure they have thought through all aspects of the situation. In the end, give your opinion and how you arrived at it for them to learn from.

4. Review big decisions after the fact. When big decisions are made, review them with your children several weeks or months after the fact to discuss whether the outcome was as you expected at the time the decision was made. If it ended differently than expected, rather than lamenting the decision or discussing regrets, focus on what could have been done differently at the time the decision was made, paying special attention to whether the decision was truly reflective of your principles and values.

Teaching your kids to develop critical thinking skills can be frustrating for them. Most kids would prefer to delegate both the decision and the consequences to their parents. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids work through tough decisions with potentially serious consequences while living at home, before they are on their own.

For more parenting advice on raising babies through teens check out: www.parentingskills21stcentury.com

George Stillwell is the father of five children ages 2 through 16. He is also a senior executive at one of the top consumer products companies in the world. He writes on subjects that range from effective parenting to employment/career development. His popular web sites include: http://www.parentingskills21stcentury.com and http://www.youaremarketable.com

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